Worst date ever! I'm never cheating on my girlfriend again!

This is the tale of my random, spontaneous trip to France.

Sam (seen above) comes into my room on Saturday night to see if I want to go to France the next day. I couldn't think of a reason why not, as it was only 19 or so pounds. Noel and I decided to buy tickets to join Sam (who had already purchased tickets). We purchased the tickets, but Noel got the last ticket on the SeaFrance ferry. I had already purchased bus tickets to the port for Noel and I (hence the date), so was forced to purchase a ticket on another ferry, leaving near the same time.

We had purchased them late, and were unable to find an internet cafe to print the tickets. Finally, after a bit of travelling, we discovered one open and printed them off.

On the following day, we got up early and went. There were no problems until after my female cohorts had parted to get on our respective ferries. Sam was leaving the country to restamp her visa, which was about to expire. She was only going to return to the country for another 4 days, but the passport control official had told her that she would not be eligible for a visitors visa, as she had 2 years to travel. In the end, it would all be up to the passport official when she came back.

We got to port over an hour late due to all the added security after 7/7. We realised we only had half an hour to do whatever, as we were expected to check in an hour before leaving port (also due to the new security measures) and ended up exchanging our tickets for a later ferry.

So we left the port and walked for a bit ... in the rain. We ended up asking a nice french lady who worked for one of the ferry companies which way into the city centre of Calais who gave us prompt directions in English. We followed her directions to the tee. Signs seemed to agree with what she was saying, so we went without question. We walked past factories, sewers then onto a mud track. We started to worry when we left the dirt track for no track, but were following the road past factories still, and following the signs to the city centre.

After about 20 minutes of walking, we found ourselves in civilization. The first street we come to, was Rue de Bitche, as seen in the picture above. We continued to follow the signs into the centre for another 15 minutes, seeing nothing but closed shops, rickety houses and dodgy looking people. These were definately the slums of Calais. Some date, eh?

We ended up cutting our losses and walking back so we could catch the ferry. Not 5 minutes did we walk before we found a map showing that we had gone in a nice circle around the city centre. Another 10 minutes later, we saw our first taxi. Going into the city centre. Then our second, then our 5th, 6th and 7th. When we got to a roundabout closer to the port, we found that we had gone the wrong way (despite the signs telling us we had gone the correct way). There, we saw 3 busses going from the port to the centre.

We ended up getting back to the port in high spirits. We had made it back in time to get some grub. We went to a pub in the port. Lets just say that the food was less than stellar. A piece of buttered baguette with a piece of ham that tasted quite bad. The wine was worse. It tasted like it had been let to sit in the hot sun for 5 days or so, then chilled. Not good at all.

When the girls and I went to get on our ferries, I was scowled at by the passport control official and asked to move behind the line (I had one foot just grazing the line, the other was behind it). At least Sam got her visa stamp.

I got on my ferry half drunk, half sick from the wine. Had a nice chat with some brits about my fascinating day of slummishness, then went to sleep for about an hour.

My ferry left about 10 minutes after the ferry the girls were on. Aparently, there was port congestion. How the hell do you have congestion on a port when there are only 2 ferries going to and fro? In any case, I ended up getting to Dover an hour and a half late, but 15 minutes before the girls. We arrived just after our bus had left. We paid to get new tickets for the last bus and waited.

The bus driver was not happy when I asked if I could take my laptop bag on the bus. I just wanted some snacks and such to tie me over as I was feeling quite ill by now. I let him have his way and stowed the bag below the bus, then had a very uneasy trip back home.

The trip was a lot of waiting for nothing to happen. I spent a total of 5 hours on a ferry or in a port waiting alone. At least I got a good story out of it.

I will never cheat on Danny again. Well, I might but ...

In a pub near the tower

I haven't made a drinking post for a while, so I figured now would be the appropriate time.

Last night, Danielle, Amber and I went to visit Vicky and her boyfriend, the sheepshagger at his pub. My friends prefer me drunk, so I had a bit too much to drink last night. I remember some of the night, but it's still somewhat of a blur. I remember playing drunken (and I do mean drunken) twister with the girls in the pub after it closed. I have a slight feeling that I made an ass of myself to my girlfriend though, but that's a different story that I would prefer to not have written on my blog for the world to see. If you're lucky, I'll tell you another day.

The Woman in Black

Went to see another play last night. The Woman in Black was amazing. Only two characters on the stage, but the entire play was magnificent. It's been going since 1998, and has had very good reviews. The best part was that it was only £12.50/ticket.

The play recalled a man's tale of his journey to a small town where an accident happened 60 years ago. I noticed myself holding my breath at moments. This was far better than any movie I have ever seen, but live theatre does have a natural advantage.

We've decided to make the theatre a Monday thing. As it is fairly inexpensive (Cinemas cost £11/ticket anyways), we choose to enjoy the culture while we're here.

Speaking of Cinemas, we happened to pass the Fantastic Four premier on the way to the theatre and decided to stay for a few minutes. Beyond the massive amounts of fire, I was disappointed by the performance, with only about 150 people attending. Someone forgot to take down the candy canes in the trees meant for the Willy Wonka premier from the weekend.

That's right, I went, bitches!

Friday night, while my friends were at the pub drinking and getting action, I was patiently waiting in line for the new Harry Potter book. That's right. Rather than getting drunk I was waiting to read. I spent a good while on Saturday reading as well. Got to page 200 or so.

The book took a while to get going. I wont go into any details as to not ruin the book, but it doesn't seem quite as captivating as the previous incarnations. 200/600 pages in, they just got to Hogwarts and not much happened. I guess it did the same in the last book, but I didn't like that one as much either.

Gotta get back to work. Hope you all get the book so I don't feel quite so geeky. It's slightly less geeky than the DNS/Bind book I was reading on Friday at lunch though.

Have fun.

Customer Service

This is the one small cosmetic imperfection in the office. It is right above my desk. The post-it note is a bit small, but it states "Where Customer Service went THROUGH THE ROOF!".

It's been at the office for a while, but I thought I would finally post it on the blog.

Did I mention that it's right above my desk?

Booty V2

Been a while since this happened, but the Sunday after Canada Day, we had Jocelyn's (2nd from the left) birthday. In order, it's Corel, Jocelyn, Danny and Vicky, otherwise known as Corel, Sweet Cheeks, Brown Sugar and Baby doll.

This picture will probably be my wallpaper for a while. The girls wont let me change it. Vicky absolutely loves the picture and points out her ass all the time.

We all had fun at Jocelyn's birthday. It was a nice ending to a really busy and drunken weekend.

Still not dead

As some of you might know, Central London was hit by at least 7 bombs this morning, in 7 separate terrorist attacks around 8:49 this morning. The bombs hit different points all targeting Londoners on their way to work. Subway stations and buses were the main targets.

As a result, the subway system will not run for at least the rest of today, and the buses will not run in central London. I work and live in central London. I was on the subway at the time of all of the bombings that have been confirmed.

One of my friends, Karli was on the subway just in front of one of the bombed subways. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for her.

Apparently, the bombings were done by a European chapter of Al-Quaeda, who say they will target Denmark and Italy next. The bombings have taken a huge toll on the city, probably costing in the billions of £ in the first few hours, with no sign of improvement.

Over 3 million people use the subway daily. This cripled the city, but most people seem to accept the loss. My CEO has allowed everyone to go home early, but my colleagues and I have decided to stay, at least until our supervisors leave.

Tony Blair, currently at the G8 summit near Edinburgh has decided to go back to London. This definately hurts talks and will postpone help for Africa.

Hopefully, this is the last of the bombings.

Live8

Went to Regent's park today to view Live 8 on the big screen with thousands of people today. Couldn't get tickets to the actual event in Hyde Park. It was a text message contest. I sent one, and aparently there were 150k tickets available and several million texts in. Only one of my friends was able to get a ticket.

There were so many great performances there. It was definately not what I was expecting. I've got so much to say about the concert, but have gotta go (not to drink. That was last night).

Hope everyone is having fun.

Paul

Small Canada Day celebration. Just me and 3000 or so of my closest friends

The whole party was insane. Definately a memorable party. As a Canadian, I now understand just how great my country is in comparison to everyone else's. I came with a number of friends, many Canadian, a couple Americans and a Bulgarian. Brett made it a point to mention that Canadians party like madmen and he just couldn't keep up.

I got pretty hammered, pretty fast so I went home somewhat early. The street was packed and police were having a hard time controlling the crowd at times. They still played it calm and wore Canadian "London Racers" helmets over their own police caps with pride. I'm sure they enjoyed their night.

I was surprised at how many of my friends wore sandals, despite my warnings. There was so much broken glass from beer bottles and pint glasses, that it must have been a miricle that no one was cut.

On my way home, I made the genius decision to walk down the stairs. It was not smart to walk down 193 steps. Not many, but it was a spiral staircase and I almost passed out 2/3 down.

Got home and found a girl in my bed, and I didn't even know her, but that's another story.

My friends say I went to Amsterdam, but I don't remember.

Well, I decided to go to Amsterdam last minute. It cost 120 quid for the trip there and accommodation. I went with a tour group, else I would have contacted my father's girlfriend's son and hopefully get a place to live, or at least meet up. Unfortunately, the entire trip was last minute and I couldn't even get his contact details. I'm thinking of going back just to see him. I'm in Europe, right?

Amsterdam itself was gorgeous. There was very little polution (which is very surprising for a European city), because nearly everyone rides a bicycle which adds to the charm. I had no idea that Amsterdam had so many canals. It has more canals than venice. Since I had 22 pounds in the bank after taking out money for the trip, I decided to skimp on the extras. I did however get a few space cakes and a bag of ... fun...

We stayed at the Hans Brinker. The hostel was quite nice. It came fully equipped with a bar and club in the basement. The greatest part of the Hans Brinker was how they advertised how absolutely horrible their rooms were. Advertisements such as "Your body is at risk! If you don't get a healthy amount of bacteria, your body will not be strong enough. The Hans Brinker is proud to supply your daily dose of bacteria!"


On Friday night, we went to the Red Light district, which we weren't allowed to take pictures in. Apparently, one year someone's camera was thrown in the canal with the owner still attached. After walking through for about half an hour, we decided that we had seen enough ass while not high, and headed to a coffee shop.

We ordered two bags of happiness for 15 euro each and I also ordered a space cake. Space cakes take 2 or so hours to get to your head, but the joint form definately goes fast. After the second puff, I had my head on the table unable to lift it. I could hear, but not talk. After about 5 minutes, I was fine. Still very high, but able to move and walk.

We stayed there for at least half an hour then went walking. Don't know what we talked about. I do know that some friends came in and enjoyed their first time (like myself). We all had to rely on my friend Brett to roll the joints.

After getting a sufficient amount of happiness in us, we decided to walk around a little more. Don't remember this, but I do remember forgetting my thoughts every 5 seconds. I literally had 5 minutes of "This is cool. I can't remember a thing! It's because ... This is cool. I can't remember a thing!". We later went out for Pizza and then sat for about an hour and a half in front of a gigantic penis statue. This was the most memorable part of the city of Amsterdam.

The next morning, we left Amsterdam for a few hours to go to a clog and cheese factory. On the way, we stopped to take the picture above. By the way, I was totally stoned for this picture. The cheese factory wasn't all that great, but the clog maker was very interesting. He was 19 years old and one of 6 old fashioned clog makers left in the country. Wouldn't that be the greatest pick up line ever?

When we got back into Amsterdam, we went to the Van Gogh museum. In short, it was absolutely amazing. They didn't mention anything about his ear (or lack thereof) though. It's quite amazing how he inspired a whole new era of artwork. I loved many of his forest based artwork.

Afterwords I went for steak then we hit the red light district to do a little more of the same. We were all tired from the trip, and ended up going back to our hostel at 8. We planned on getting up later when there was a little bit more nightlife, but we sort of fell asleep for the night.

I absolutely loved the entire trip. It was definately a change from the ordinary. I hope to go again. The city definately lived up to it's reputation.